You’re out on your second, maybe third date with a guy that you really like. You’ve had a few drinks — maybe more. You’re having a wonderful time and the endorphins are flowing. You suddenly get the feeling that this guy might actually be the one for you. Finally! It feels like you’ve made a special connection…
So you sleep with him. The morning after you feel a bit awkward but kiss your goodbyes feeling as if things will continue to go on as they have been.
A day goes by… No call or text. A few more days go by… still nothing. Over a week has passed and the guy you thought you had such a great connection with hasn’t even bothered to text you to say “hi” after sleeping with you.
Blame it On the Alcohol?
In my book Let Him Chase You, I am adamant about waiting until a bond has formed between you and a guy before being intimate IF you want the relationship to go somewhere. That bond could be a real friendship or a special connection through an experience (you guys went through something tough together). Some women choose to wait until the bond of marriage. The bottom line is, if you don’t have that bond with someone first you are at a high risk of becoming a victim in the scenario mentioned earlier.
Alcohol can make you falsely think you have a connection with someone when you actually don’t. It removes your inhibitions and makes you feel as if you’re having the time of your life. It also gives you those “beer goggles” that causes any guy to look really good. But once the drink has worn off and the deed is done, you know that you’ve probably made a big mistake.
The solution is simple. Be careful when drinking alcohol on a date with someone you’re just getting to know. Set a firm limit on the number of drinks you’ll have (no more than two) so that you’ll have a clear head the whole time and not be swayed by the extra dopamine being released into your brain when you drink alcohol. You should be sober and certain when and if you decide that it’s time to be intimate with a guy that you’re dating.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.