In her amazing book The Power, Rhonda Byrne tells the story of a woman who envisioned having a white Calla Lily in her hand. When she went to a friend’s dinner party there on the table was a vase full of white Calla Lilies. But this woman didn’t rush to grab the flower — she patiently waited for it to manifest in her hand. As she was leaving, something compelled the host’s daughter to grab a Lily and put it right in the woman’s hand. She was patient and received exactly what she wanted.
Have you ever been in a social setting where a guy who caught your eye seemed reluctant to approach you, even though you really wanted him to? Maybe he just didn’t notice you at all and you really wanted him to.
So you probably did one of two things:
1) Left feeling bad about not connecting with him, thinking that you missed out on something special, or
2) Decided to go after HIM instead.
I am a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I am also a firm believer in the premise of my book Let Him Chase You. If you’re meant to connect with a particular guy, some way and some how he is going to get in touch with you.
Now some women will tell you that this advice is silly — that if you see a guy you like you should go after him. Snag him, tag him and drag him home!
But I know from personal experience that this is a recipe or disaster if you are seeking a fulfilling long-term relationship with a guy.
I remember back when I was in college I walked out of a club and saw a really good looking guy standing there. He looked me up and down like he was interested but didn’t say anything and looked away. I then asked him if he was going to ask me for my phone number, and he did.
This quickly turned into a long term friends with benefits relationship. Long story short, I was playing that role of the chaser from then on. When we got into an argument, I was the one who had to call and apologize. When he moved back to his home city, I was the one who flew out to visit him. Finally, I got tired of all of the nonsense and left him alone completely.
When you force the issue with a guy, it creates an uncomfortable dynamic for us women.
Let Him Chase You
So like the woman in Rhonda Byrne’s book, don’t desperately grab for a man’s attention — let the guy come and place the Lily in your hand. Even if he doesn’t, don’t feel bad about it… be thankful because you may have avoided a stressful, draining and time-consuming experience with a guy who wasn’t right for you after all.
Let Him Chase You!
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.