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Eve’s Story

Eve’s Story

From Let Him Chase You by Lynn Gilliard 15 days have gone by since their first date. 3 days have gone by since he last called or texted her. 7 days have gone by since he last set up a date with her. And it […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

I’ve been working on a book entitled Sing While You’re Single for the better part of a year. Only my closest confidants have known about it to date. In it, I’m providing encouragement and advice to women who have decided to remain single for the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

Wouldn’t it be nice if life could just be easier? Even just a little bit easier? You wake up, shower, wash your face, commence to doing your thing whatever that may be, and things seem to work out in the best way possible throughout the day.

Well I think that life could be easier, but we stand in the way of that in so many ways. We’ve been taught that things are supposed to be hard and a constant struggle. But that’s just not true. Things can be more easygoing if we believe it to be so.

Consider these five simple things that can make your life feel easier and more enjoyable.

1. Don’t Go Looking for Problems

Some people create their own problems by actively going out into the world looking for them.

Have you ever known someone who seems to carry drama around with them like an anchor? No matter where they go there seems to be a conflict that arises or an argument.

Are you that person? If so, it is okay to admit it, because this is about growth, and coming to terms with an issue is the only way that you can begin to grow and get better.

Some people go out into the world looking for problems. They want to fight with people because that’s what they’re used to doing. Any period of peace makes them feel uneasy.

I believe that denial and tendency toward aggravation is something that people pick up when they are children, watching their parents and the elders around them do the same thing. Then they perpetuate the same thing in their adulthood. Then they unfortunately pass it on to their children and the cycle goes on and on.

Be the strong smart, enlightened, unproblematic person who stops this cycle in your family.

2. Design Your Life Exactly How You Want It To Be

Not how others want it to be.

When I made the wild decision to become a freelance writer a lot of people looked at me like I was crazy.

“Why can’t you just go get a regular job?”  they asked.

“Because this is how I want my life to be,” I thought. And while I did take jobs that I didn’t want or like over the years, I still stayed focused on the things that I wanted to do. Thankful that I did that.

Follow your passions and dreams. Yet I want to say this with one caveat: you can’t have this attitude if you are going to spend years or even months begging people to help you to pay your bills to get through life.

To be a struggling artist or entrepreneur means that you are going to go through a period when you might have to struggle a bit, yet others shouldn’t have to suffer because of your conscious decisions to do so. I continued to work menial jobs while doing my thing on the side, while keeping a vision of how I wanted my life (at least professionally) to look until it began to manifest. Have a plan to support yourself as you discover and maximize from your talents.

3. Resist People Who Try to Force You Into Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do

Peer pressure is a b****. I say this all the time when I watch television shows or movies and see how young people find themselves in unfortunate situations simply because they follow behind what their friends and peers tell them to do. Don’t be a lemming (blind follower). Follow your own voice and your own calling in life and the earlier you learn how to do this, the better.

Another way that people try to force you into doing things that you don’t want to do is by pressuring you to pair up with someone who you aren’t really compatible with. I believe that one of the worst things you can do is commit your life to someone who you really should not be with. Pairing with the wrong person can rob you of your motivations, dreams, and positive energy in so many ways.

4. Eat Well and Exercise Daily 

When in the grips of grief and depression, one of the things that helped me the most was getting outside and being active.my thing is walking, preferably in nature. I’m not a big fan of the gym or weight lifting, or running, but I really like to be outside—no matter the weather.

Exercising regularly also inspired me to want to eat better foods and I even tried going vegan for a while. One of the things that will make your life a lot easier is when you find a routine and diet that helps you stay sane and makes you feel healthy / happy / good.

5. Spend Time with Yourself in Solitude and Learn to Like Her

A lot of people don’t really like themselves, but they would never admit it outright. The reason why so many people are terrified of being alone is because they just don’t like being alone with themselves.

I spent too much time feeling down about the fact that the people in my life did not come to my rescue when I really needed them to. But after a while (and it took some time) I stopped needing them to do so! I learned how to enjoy time to myself, love myself, and it has come to the point where I actually prefer being just with myself. I plan trips by myself, go to the movies by myself, eat at restaurants alone, and love it. I don’t have to wait on anyone else to have a good time.

Can life feel and be easier? I think that life could be a lot easier if only we make a few changes and adjustments to how we look at and manage things. Meditate on these simple ways to make your life easier and see if they have a positive effect on your daily routine.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide for women entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth. 



Image by Denise Husted



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
7 Keys to Getting Along with People

7 Keys to Getting Along with People

Do you find yourself butting heads with people often? It’s possible to have better relationships with the people around you. A little bit of emotional intelligence can go a long way. Keep reading. For a long time after losing a very close friend who was […]

Who Is Your Friend and Who Is Just an Acquaintance?

What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance or associate? It’s a question that has come up on my social media timeline several times, so I felt it may be of value to write a bit more about this subject. Understanding the answer […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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11 Things Someone Should Have Told You (For Women)

11 Things Someone Should Have Told You (For Women)

They say that hindsight is 20/20, meaning that if you could go back in time and change some of the decisions you’ve made in the past using the information you have today you probably would. But when you’re in the thick of a situation, things can be a bit cloudier. I sure wish someone would have told me a few more things as I was navigating my teens, 20s, and 30s. These are some of the lessons that I’ve learned over the years that I think would be valuable to younger women.

1. The Difference Between Love, Infatuation, Acquaintanceship, and Desperation

Love is a beautiful and powerful thing, but sometimes we use the word “love” way too loosely. When someone truly loves you, they will be there for you through thick and thin, the good times and the bad. When you’re at your lowest and going through some of the hardest times of your life, someone who loves you will still be there. Nothing could keep them away. This includes friends, family members and romantic interests. Learn the difference between love (which is unconditional and reciprocal), acquaintanceship (which is fleeting), infatuation (which is obsessive and toxic), and desperation (which is sad and pitiful).

2. The Less You Care for and About Yourself, the Less Others Will Care

We sometimes think that having a pity party (poor me) and not treating ourselves well will somehow cause others to come to our rescue or sympathize with us. But when you stop caring about and for yourself, you are teaching others how to treat you. When you present yourself as a pitiful person, other people (except those who want to take advantage of you) don’t want that energy around them. It’s naïve to expect MORE love and care from others if you couldn’t care less about yourself. Value yourself (YOUR TIME AND ENERGY MATTERS), invest in yourself (GET THE THINGS YOU NEED TO BE OKAY AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF), and care for yourself (SELF-CARE).

3. When One Door Closes, Start Looking for The One That Just Opened

It can be difficult to accept when an opportunity or relationship doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, and it’s so easy to just give up. But if you can find it within yourself to rebound from the experience and open yourself to looking at another potential opportunity or partnership, you may find that first door closed for a reason. Learn from unfortunate past experiences, but don’t close yourself off to new possibilities.

4. A Man Who Despises His Mother Will Feel the Same About You

I have said this on so many occasions in the past to women, and I will keep saying it. Dating a man who despises, insults, or constantly complains about his mother can be very damaging to you and your self-esteem in the long-run. When a man has a serious personal issue with his mother, it will likely translate to all of his relationships with women. You could be the sweetest, most understanding, and loving woman ever to walk the earth, but he will still abuse and mistreat you based on his dysfunctional relationship with the woman who brought him into this world.

5. It’s OK to Be Accountable to Someone

We live in a culture now that says you should be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, no matter what, without being responsible to anyone else. But that type of thinking is why there is so much rabid dysfunction in modern society—people begin to lose a grasp of their moral codes. People need other people in order to remain sane, be grounded, stay motivated, and help them make the right decisions. It’s okay to be accountable to at least one person in your life, whether it is a mentor, a sibling, a friend, or a respected elder.

6. When You Chase a Guy He Will Find Ways to Run from You

I wrote my book Let Him Chase You after a particularly distressing series of events with a guy that I was in a relationship with for close to a year. I also remembered advice that I was given by a very dear male friend about what is attractive and unattractive to most men (at least the ones you would want to spend time with). Chasing after a guy for love and affection is like chasing a chicken around in a coop. You might catch him eventually, but he will be making every effort to get away from you throughout the “relationship.” This also applies to a lot of other things in life. If something (or someone) is meant for you, it will come to you naturally.

7. Integrity Will Always Matter

We currently live in a sociopolitical climate where the idea of integrity has mostly flown out of the window. Many of our leaders, celebrity figure, and influencers no longer feel that it’s necessary to be upstanding individuals in order to be successful. It’s all about making money and getting as much fame and attention as possible. But having integrity being trustworthy will always be the best way to go about things—even when it doesn’t seem like it in the short run. Think of it this way: if you know someone who has lied and cheated to get the success and money that they have right now in life, would you ever trust or regard that person again in the future if they came to you for help? The way people that perceive you is a form of currency, and it will always be valuable.

8. You Control How Your Day Goes

You wake up, trip over a toy on the way to the bathroom, yell at your kids or the cat, and there you have it. That’s the beginning of your day and how things will most likely go for the next 24 hours. At a certain moment in the day, you have to pause, take a deep breath and shift your energy in a different direction. Say it out loud no matter how crappy you may feel: this is a GOOD day and it will continue to be a good day. Speak positive affirmations into the air, like “I am worthy of love, attention, and good things happening for me.” You can’t control everything in life, but you can control some things. Take the reins of your day and watch as things start to get a little better.

9. Overcome Fear and Do What You Must

If you have ever had to speak or perform in front of a group of people, you know how scary an experience it can be—especially the minute before you go on stage or stand in front of that podium. But once you get up there and you begin to talk, act, or dance, that fear begins to fall away and you do what you have to do. This is true for most everything in life that you’re afraid of. As the book says, feel the fear and do it anyway.

10. Do What You Do for the Right Reasons

As women, we sometimes feel that we have to do things that we may not want to do out of a sense of obligation or thinking that other people will show us some gratitude. We often play the martyr role, sacrificing ourselves for others who really couldn’t care less either way. Don’t do things because you think that you’ll get some type of reward for your actions, because most likely you won’t. Do what you do because it’s something that you genuinely want to do, and don’t hesitate to choose your needs over the needs of others whenever necessary. As someone wise said, “serve from your saucer, not your cup.”

11. You Don’t Have to Overdo It—One Day at Time

If you listen to the fitness fanatics, chefs, gurus, and fashionistas on Instagram and Pinterest, you’ll think that you have to be some kind of superhuman in order to lose weight, eat right, be stylish, and feel good about yourself. But when you try to overdo things from the very start, you are less likely to continue making positive changes. Take it easy at first and build up from there. For instance, instead of doing an hour of strenuous yoga exercises, start with a 5 minute routine on YouTube. Instead of going 100% vegan on your first week, mix vegan foods into your diet slowly but surely until you’re up to about 60 or 70% and start to like it. Taking measured and purposeful actions day by day will increase the chance that you’ll adopt positive new habits as far as your diet, exercise, and other initiatives.

Take some time and read through these 11 things that someone should have told you (or that someone should be telling you now) as a woman and see how you might be able to apply it to your life today. If you’re not happy with how things are going, you can always make the decision to change your course and start on a new path.

Love Lynn



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Celebrities, reality stars, social influencers, and everyday women do young girls a disservice by pretending that their relationships are “perfect.” Tell them the truth about life and relationships so that they can make better choices. Recently a popular reality television personality from a show that […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting with yourself? Is self-sabotage the real reason why you’re not where you want to be in life? So there I was. Vegetables and fruit spread all over my kitchen table on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon. I […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Have you ever heard the phrase “if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results?”

Or “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results?”

Well that advice certainly applies to love, relationships and dating. If you keep going to the same places and doing the same things to attract guys, it’s more than likely you’ll keep getting the same results in your relationships and dating experiences.

For example, if you go to a specific type of bar or a club to meet guys, you’re going to keep meeting the same or similar quality of guys over and over again. They tend to hang out on the same places. Think about it: what type of guys are in the nightclubs? Ones looking for quick hookups with drunk ladies or guys who are cheating or guys who probably don’t have a lot of responsibility in their lives. This isn’t the pool you want to be swimming in unless you want new drama in your life.

If you have used a specific online dating site repeatedly to meet men and every encounter has been a disaster, maybe it’s time to retire that account.

Back in the day, I would sometimes browse the personals section on Craigslist. Insanity. There are so many idiots, perverts and potentially dangerous guys on that open public forum — just don’t do it!

Alternative Dating Pools
I am an advocate of meeting people in one of these ways:

– In a safe group setting, like an upscale, classy singles event or a carefully chosen meetup outing.
– At a cultural event, like an art show, library book reading, museum opening, or even a networking event for business professionals.
– From a referral by a close friend — someone who knows both you and the other person.
– At a party held by friends who invite various people from their social circle.
– At events thrown at colleges or your own school’s homecoming events.

Nowadays there are unfortunately a lot of creepy guys out there, so you don’t want to find yourself in murky waters when dating. So change your social habits to change your dating pool — search for events and gatherings where you’ll find a better quality of guys to socialize with.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Right before writing this blog post, I was watching a TV show where a woman admitted that her husband wakes up, first thing in the morning, and says to her, “*EXPLETIVE that begins with a B*, where are my cigarettes?” Instead of putting him in […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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