You Deserve Love AND Respect

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Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Celebrities, reality stars, social influencers, and everyday women do young girls a disservice by pretending that their relationships are “perfect.” Tell them the truth about life and relationships so that they can make better choices. Recently a popular reality television personality from a show that […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting with yourself? Is self-sabotage the real reason why you’re not where you want to be in life? So there I was. Vegetables and fruit spread all over my kitchen table on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon. I […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Have you ever heard the phrase “if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results?”

Or “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results?”

Well that advice certainly applies to love, relationships and dating. If you keep going to the same places and doing the same things to attract guys, it’s more than likely you’ll keep getting the same results in your relationships and dating experiences.

For example, if you go to a specific type of bar or a club to meet guys, you’re going to keep meeting the same or similar quality of guys over and over again. They tend to hang out on the same places. Think about it: what type of guys are in the nightclubs? Ones looking for quick hookups with drunk ladies or guys who are cheating or guys who probably don’t have a lot of responsibility in their lives. This isn’t the pool you want to be swimming in unless you want new drama in your life.

If you have used a specific online dating site repeatedly to meet men and every encounter has been a disaster, maybe it’s time to retire that account.

Back in the day, I would sometimes browse the personals section on Craigslist. Insanity. There are so many idiots, perverts and potentially dangerous guys on that open public forum — just don’t do it!

Alternative Dating Pools
I am an advocate of meeting people in one of these ways:

– In a safe group setting, like an upscale, classy singles event or a carefully chosen meetup outing.
– At a cultural event, like an art show, library book reading, museum opening, or even a networking event for business professionals.
– From a referral by a close friend — someone who knows both you and the other person.
– At a party held by friends who invite various people from their social circle.
– At events thrown at colleges or your own school’s homecoming events.

Nowadays there are unfortunately a lot of creepy guys out there, so you don’t want to find yourself in murky waters when dating. So change your social habits to change your dating pool — search for events and gatherings where you’ll find a better quality of guys to socialize with.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Before writing this new blog post, I was watching a television show where a woman admitted that her husband wakes up, first thing in the morning, and says to her, “Bitch, where are my cigarettes?” Instead of putting him in his place, she just calmly […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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The Problem with “How to Keep a Man Happy” Advice

The Problem with “How to Keep a Man Happy” Advice

Some relationship advice columns (often offered by men if you’ll notice) tell women how they can make men happy or be more attractive to men to keep them around. But there are a few problems with this idea that women have to be aware of. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Beware the “Rake” Personality – He Drives Women Crazy (The Art of Seduction)

Beware the “Rake” Personality – He Drives Women Crazy (The Art of Seduction)

I like the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene because it warns both women and men about people who may be trying to take advantage of them. Greene is also the author of The 48 Laws of Power, which I believe is another must-read for young, ambitious women.

41rBEKo3TvL._SL500_AA300_PIaudible,BottomRight,13,73_AA300_In The Art of Seduction, Greene talks about the various types of “seductive” personalities that you’ll find throughout history. These personalities also exist today, of course. One of those types is the “rake” personality — a man who is an expert at seducing *numerous* women and getting them snared into his trap. I have met this type of guy in the past and can attest to his charm and appeal. The problem is, this guy can never be tamed or nailed down by any one woman.

So here are some characteristics of a male rake. If you want something real and lasting from a relationship, recognize and avoid this type of guy in the future. You may choose to have a fun experience with him, but don’t count on it ever being more than that.

He Loves the Idea of Women

Make no mistake — a male rake absolutely loves women, or rather the IDEA of women. He most likely had a close yet conflicted relationship with his mother as a boy and the other adult women in his life. He most likely learned early on how to grab the attention and hearts of women from his female family members and friends. Young or old, pretty much all women can be caught up in his net if he chooses them as a target and they are unaware of his seduction.

He’s Extremely Charming

A lot of men don’t really understand women and what makes us tick, but the male rake sure does. He knows exactly what to say and when to say it to get your attention. Even if he isn’t the most attractive guy you’ve ever seen, you may find yourself strangely attracted to this person from his personality and charm alone. He doesn’t approach you by saying, “yo yo yo what’s up.” He says “You have such beautiful eyes” or “Why do you look so sad? Are you okay?”

He Has a “Devil May Care” Attitude Toward Life

Rakes are fun. They are exciting and have a “devil may care” attitude when it comes to life. They aren’t really afraid of anything, including death or punishment, which makes them extremely appealing to many women. If someone tells them they’re going to hell, they’ll ask where do they get the ticket. They often drink a lot and abuse substances. They’ll do 100 mph down a highway on New Year’s Eve. The point is that they don’t really care about consequences, and while that is often attractive to women, it is also concerning if you do care about your life and well-being.

He Never Apologizes

One other attribute of a rake is that he never really (genuinely) apologizes for anything. This is because he doesn’t ever think he’s wrong. He could sleep with your sister, cousin and best friend in the same day and get caught each time in the act, but never feels the need to apologize. If pushed to the limit, he may say “I’m sorry” to get his way, but he doesn’t really mean it.

He’s Extremely Persistent

One way that you’ll know you may be dealing with a male rake is that he is extremely persistent and focused on getting your attention. If you say no or ignore him, he will spend the rest of his day trying to figure out how to make you say yes. This may have to do with some type of insecurity and ego problem, or just a scratch that he needs to itch. Most women don’t require much convincing, but the ones who do are a challenge that the rake simply has to conquer. Don’t leave him alone around your things if you’re not interested or you may have a stalker on your hands.

If you want to get a good idea of what a male rake personality is, watch the HBO series Californication. Hank’s character is the ideal personification of this seductive personality. And again, if you want a long-lasting, loving relationship with a man, please understand that you’re not going to find it with a rake.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

“First comes love… Then comes marriage… Then comes Mary with a baby carriage.” Do you remember that little childhood song? We would sing it to tease someone who had a crush on a boy. We’d also sing it when playing patty cake to keep up […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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First Impressions DO Matter

First Impressions DO Matter

Young woman’s OKCupid experiment highlights the different responses women get when they choose to put their sexuality on display over their personality. First impressions do matter. Today I read an article written by a beautiful young woman who decided to do an experiment on OKCupid. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

If you take a close look at modern media, particularly movies and TV shows, you can see where women have gotten the idea that women chasing men is a wise idea.

While watching Meet Joe Black (1998) again I noticed that this dynamic was in play throughout the movie. The daughter eagerly chases after Joe Black throughout the entire movie, kissing him first, hunting him down to have sex with him and proclaiming her love for him to everyone who will listen.

Here’s another example: the movie Elizabethtown. In it, the character played by Kirsten Dunst begins chasing after the character played by Orlando Bloom for the entire movie from the time she first sees him on the plane. She can’t help herself. Of course everything turns out fine and dandy in the end — love blossoms — but is that really how it goes in real life?

Have movies like this been slyly convincing women that they should chase after men?

One more example: the Showtime series Californication. As entertaining as this show may be, it is a painful display of desperation of women from all walks of life and backgrounds. These types of shows are created by men with wild fantasies that all women are eager to eat the crumbs from their sandwiches. (What beautiful young woman in a bikini picks up a strange guy 20 years older than her in a liquor store and brings him home?)

The Real Life Result
What these romantic Hollywood movies and series fail to show is the common result when a woman takes on the role of a chaser in a romantic encounter — she usually gets dumped soon after. In the movies the relationship blossoms into something meaningful, but that’s just not real life in about 95 percent of cases.

So when we look at some TV shows and movies it’s easy to see how a newer generation of women have adopted this idea that chasing desperately after men for attention, love and sex is the way to go. But if it was the way to go, why are so many young women of today stuck in empty “friends with benefits” relationships or being mistreated and disregarded by the men they are dating?

There comes a time when we have to re-evaluate the confusing messages that we’ve been taught by fictional movies since we were little girls and use our own better judgment.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & dating advice — can we take some cues from our feline friends? I am a pet lover — I’ve had both dogs and cats. But I’m partial to cats because I think they are the most like humans. They’re smart, crafty and have […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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