Some relationship advice columns (often offered by men if you’ll notice) tell women how they can make men happy or be more attractive to men to keep them around. But there are a few problems with this idea that women have to be aware of.
You Can’t MAKE Someone Else Happy
We all have free will. We all have the power of choice. So you as one person cannot MAKE another person happy. Their happiness is completely up to them.
You may think that making a brand new sandwich for a man every day will keep him happy. One day, he’s going to tire of sandwiches altogether and want steak everyday. Some women think that they have to keep their hair long to keep a man — then one day he sees a lovely short-haired woman and is bored with long hair. You may think that learning new sexual tricks will keep him happy. That will get old soon too. A person who is happy with you just IS. You don’t have to go out of your way to convince him of anything.
You’re Chasing Him
When you are actively seeking ways to make a man happy, that means that YOU are the chaser. You are giving him the idea that he is the sole prize to be won. He can sit back and allow you to serve him as if you are his “peasant girl.” If you are confident in your essence as a woman of worth then you would feel no need to go out of your way to put a man and his needs above your own. The same is true for anyone else in your life who demands too much of you.
It Ignores Your Need for Happiness
When you focus your life and relationship around how to keep a man happy, you forget one important thing: your own happiness. Who is going out of their way to make you happy as a woman?
So before you listen to advice on how to keep a man happy, meditate on these three points. You matter and you deserve the best — even if that means YOU are the one who has to give YOU the best.
Keep your focus on ensuring that you are happy and fulfilled.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.