After much coaxing from others, I have started watching Dexter. It’s a TV series about a guy who serial kills bad guys.
In it, his sister falls for a guy who turns out to be a very twisted killer. At first, he is very into her to lure her into his web, but soon after she takes over “the chase” and starts going after him. He shifted on her big time.
There is a shift that happens between men and women who date. It usually happens when the woman has sex with the guy. Almost 100 percent of the time it happens when the woman starts to lose her confidence. It most often happens when the woman gets too comfortable, way too soon.
What is the shift? The shift happens when the guy gets what he wants (sex) and the woman starts to believe she has done something wrong.
The shift happens when the guy realizes that he holds all the cards and the woman realizes she is at his mercy — emotionally and physically.
The shift is where so many women lose their sensibility and self-esteem. They wonder “what’s wrong with me” when the root of the problem is really with the guy they chose.
It’s so important as a woman in the dating world to recognize when this shift may be happening, and protect yourself. You may have made an ill-advised choice, but there’s nothing wrong with you. This is why I advocate keeping your options open and continuing to date / occupying your mind with other interests so that if you see that a guy is shifting on you, you can just… Shift your attention elsewhere.
You matter. You deserve better. The best in fact.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.