Have you ever heard the phrase “if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results?”
Or “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results?”
Well that advice certainly applies to love, relationships and dating. If you keep going to the same places and doing the same things to attract guys, it’s more than likely you’ll keep getting the same results in your relationships and dating experiences.
For example, if you go to a specific type of bar or a club to meet guys, you’re going to keep meeting the same or similar quality of guys over and over again. They tend to hang out on the same places. Think about it: what type of guys are in the nightclubs? Ones looking for quick hookups with drunk ladies or guys who are cheating or guys who probably don’t have a lot of responsibility in their lives. This isn’t the pool you want to be swimming in unless you want new drama in your life.
If you have used a specific online dating site repeatedly to meet men and every encounter has been a disaster, maybe it’s time to retire that account.
Back in the day, I would sometimes browse the personals section on Craigslist. Insanity. There are so many idiots, perverts and potentially dangerous guys on that open public forum — just don’t do it!
Alternative Dating Pools
I am an advocate of meeting people in one of these ways:
– In a safe group setting, like an upscale, classy singles event or a carefully chosen meetup outing.
– At a cultural event, like an art show, library book reading, museum opening, or even a networking event for business professionals.
– From a referral by a close friend — someone who knows both you and the other person.
– At a party held by friends who invite various people from their social circle.
– At events thrown at colleges or your own school’s homecoming events.
Nowadays there are unfortunately a lot of creepy guys out there, so you don’t want to find yourself in murky waters when dating. So change your social habits to change your dating pool — search for events and gatherings where you’ll find a better quality of guys to socialize with.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.