You Deserve Love AND Respect

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Things That Make You Feel Better When You’re Feeling a Little Down

Things That Make You Feel Better When You’re Feeling a Little Down

Get Clean or Take A Hot Bath If Possible One of the symptoms of depression is that you stop caring about getting clean, taking baths or taking showers on a regular basis. Sometimes having the dirt or grime of the previous day can hold you […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

The Power of Purpose | Life Quotes for Women

The Power of Purpose | Life Quotes for Women

There are probably countless articles on the power of purpose, because it is a universal truth. But I think it’s worthwhile to bring it up again, especially at a time when a lot of people are stressed out, depressed, and losing hope. Maybe this reminder […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

The Transition Back to Love, Togetherness, and Decency

I came of age in the 90s and early 00s which I am very thankful for. We used to have parties, some of them we called “sessions” and had a great time enjoying each other’s company. We built bonds and friendships. We “talked” and got to know each other before getting serious. We went on actual dates. We didn’t have to prove anything to social media to have fun and feel loved. We also had really good music and a beautiful culture.

It was exciting and relaxing and everyone just showed love towards each other. I believe that some things are so precious. Like togetherness, love, and decency. Understanding how valuable other good people are, and that you should be good to others. 

Because I think many people are realizing how important it is to have other decent people to talk to and heal with at this crucial time.

Social Media

I think that maybe the prevalence of social media has been a huge culprit in how disconnected we have become as a society. People are constantly looking at their phones and not looking at, responding to, or showing love to the people who are right there in the room. The people who could care about you and/or who you should care about. And despite people’s phone addictions, you are still lucky if you can get a text back! 

Some are so concerned about what Twitter or Instagram folks are talking about, but too busy to respond to a family member or friend who is going through tough times. And somehow, we have normalized this behavior.

Hurt People Hurt People (Or At Least Try To)

Let’s be clear. A lot of people are miserable and hurt. Mean and selfish. I have witnessed people throw their trash out the window of their cars as if the world is their trash can. I have had the displeasure of watching how white supremacists act when they don’t get their way. It was displayed on my TV like it was a fictional program. I’ve seen people speeding like they have no sense when they really don’t even have anywhere important to go. Speeding up to stop signs.

I have seen people refuse to wear a mask properly amidst a pandemic that has cost a half a million lives. I have seen people treat healthcare workers like crap, even the ones who truly go above and beyond to help. Yes, it’s their job. They are heroines and heros, yet they are still human. They are people and they go through difficult things just like anyone else.

Some people want to spread their negativity to other people because they are terrified of being alone. Misery loves company. They can’t imagine the possibility of simply being a good person to others, maybe because they’ve never seen it in childhood and beyond. 

But we cannot let that energy consume us. We have to be better than that.

If you can, watch the movie Ink with a close eye. Understand the message about negative people who refuse to treat others with respect and love.

Getting Better

It’s not hopeless. There is hope for a brighter day. But it’s up to us to make things better. We must transition back to love, togetherness, and decency. Simple things like caring about one another. Responding when people call, especially if they are experiencing difficulties in life. Looking after Mother Nature and the environment in whatever way we can. Reading inspiring books, podcasts, and other media that will encourage us and help us as well as the world in general.

This is important and this is how we can get through this time.

Love Lynn



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.





11 Tips for Getting Through the Pandemic

11 Tips for Getting Through the Pandemic

I was scrunched up in the driver’s seat of my car, in the parking garage of the hospital where my mother was being treated. They only charged $8 if you stayed until midnight, so I stayed in the garage, waiting, just in case. Thankfully, the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

Staying Focused These Days

Staying Focused These Days

Thoughts from My Friend Lauren At a time when we are dealing with a lot of chaos and confusion in the world, it may help to hear about how others are managing things. I have been dealing with a barrage of concerns, all at the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

I’ve been working on a book entitled Sing While You’re Single for the better part of a year. Only my closest confidants have known about it to date. In it, I’m providing encouragement and advice to women who have decided to remain single for the time being due to the current climate in the dating world. This book is for women who haven’t given up on the possibility of having romantic love in their lives, but for now they are taking it slow and working on themselves.

One of the bits of advice I provide is that when you are a single woman you should seek to cultivate at least one to two solid friendships with other women. Having a good friend to call on is like having an ice-cold drink of water on a sweltering hot day. We all need companionship to some degree.

But it’s not always easy to meet a good real friend in the age of social media and with so many distractions around us. So, here’s some advice for how you can cultivate good friendships for yourself. It may take some time, but it is worth it.

Know the Difference Between Friends and Acquaintances

In my blog, I’ve discussed the difference between friends and acquaintances. To state it briefly, acquaintances are just people you know and who you really cannot count on in a time of need. They barely answer text messages let alone call you when you’re in need of someone to talk to. Friends are the ones who come through for you when it matters the most. Know the difference, and things will become clearer. You probably won’t be so upset when people let you down, because you know who they are to you.

Work on YOU First

One of the first steps in cultivating good friendships is to take a good long look at yourself. To have a good friend you have to be a good friend. So, if you have some latent or obvious issues that could be a hindrance to you meeting, relating, and getting along with others, get those issues under control with the help of a therapist, reading books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and making a conscious effort to change those behaviors or thoughts.

For example, if you are a complainer, who always focuses on the negative side of things, understand that this is something that other people just don’t like to be around! No one likes a complainer, or someone who is always throwing a pity party for themselves. It’s time to start thinking, talking, and acting differently. Be confident. Be positive and look at the beautiful things around you. As Einstein suggested, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.

The Best Places to Meet Friends

Where you meet people says a lot about their personalities, ambitions, thoughts, and goals in life. In my opinion one of the best places to meet new friends is at work. People at your job are on a similar playing field as you and tend to have similar interests and goals in life. 

Here are a few other good places to meet potentially good, long-term friends who care about you and themselves:

  • Volunteer activities
  • Group therapy (with women who are struggling with the same issues you are)
  • Small business networking affairs.
  • Talking to your neighbors (of all ages) who are single women, who you’ve lived around for a long time.
  • Attending organizing events with similarly minded women who care about their communities and neighborhoods.

Online meetup groups can be fun to attend, but in my experience the people who go have fleeting, flaky personalities. Generally, I think, meeting people online will likely be a short-term experience. Look to meet new people to connect with in person when you can—look in their eyes, feel their energy, and make smart choices accordingly.

It is possible to cultivate good friendships with other women, but you have to be willing to work on yourself and possibly adjust the way that you relate to others.

Again, remember that if what you’ve been doing in the past hasn’t worked, it may be time to do something different.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide for women entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth. 


Image by TréVoy Kelly from Pixabay



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.





5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

Wouldn’t it be nice if life could just be easier? Even just a little bit easier? You wake up, shower, wash your face, commence to doing your thing whatever that may be, and things seem to work out in the best way possible throughout the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

7 Keys to Getting Along with People

7 Keys to Getting Along with People

Do you find yourself butting heads with people often? It’s possible to have better relationships with the people around you. A little bit of emotional intelligence can go a long way. Keep reading. For a long time after losing a very close friend who was […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.

Who Is Your Friend and Who Is Just an Acquaintance?

What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance or associate?

It’s a question that has come up on my social media timeline several times, so I felt it may be of value to write a bit more about this subject.

Understanding the answer to this question will help free you. It may take some time for you to adjust and accept the reality that not everyone you call a friend actually falls into this category.

I have dozens of associates and acquaintances from high school to college and on up. A few people who I consider close relatives, and one or two people who I would currently identify as friends. Those proportions aren’t unusual in this day and age. Take a moment to consider how many people to put in each category.

So, let’s get right to it. There are different types of people in this world—some who are empaths, some who completely lack empathy, and some who fall somewhere in the middle. Most people are brought up with various values, morals, and “ways” that may or may not be favorable. It’s important for you to distinguish these people (the ones in your life), for your own well-being and peace.

Your Reliable Family Members

You’ve probably heard the term “blood is thicker than water,” but there are cases when some of your blood relations are people you cannot count on (or even trust in some instances). Your reliable family members are the ones who pick up the phone when you call, check in on you regularly, and come through for you when something comes up. Of course, it’s fine to love all of your relatives and be there for them in times of need, but just understand that there are some who are going to be closer to you than others.

Who would you put in this category (reliable family members)?

Associates

Note that I did not put “your” in front of this classification of people in your life. That is because these people are not “yours” — they are more strangers than friends. These are the people who you may know mostly in a professional capacity, such as from networking events, work activities, and such. They aren’t necessarily negative influences in your life, but you should not assume that they will be there for you when it really means a lot. These people sometimes will contact you out of the blue when they want to invite you to a life event, like a baby shower, wedding, or speaking event, but mainly because they want something from you (like a gift, donation, or just general attention). I don’t think it’s wise to expect much more from these social relationships as you will likely be disappointed in one way or another.

Who would you put in this category (associates)?

Acquaintances

The same thing goes for acquaintances as far as putting the word “your” in front of the classification. Because they are not yours. They are just people who you have met along the way of life. That may be college classmates or roommates, sorority sisters, party partners, people who your friends know, ex-boyfriends, or even distant relatives. They aren’t necessarily out to get you, or wanting to hurt you, but they are not likely to be there for you if you’re going through something. Again, it’s good to understand this so you don’t feel disappointed or let down. A few might surprise you from time to time. I don’t think that you should ever put an acquaintance before a friend, close family, or anything that you have going on in your life that is important. Put yourself and those who are closest to you first.

Who would you put in this category (acquaintances)?

Adversaries

It’s unfortunate that there is this category of people that you will come across in your life, but it needs to be mentioned for your own protection and peace of mind. There are some people out there who will just not like you for whatever reason and there is nothing you can do about it. I will call them adversaries, to be as mild as possible. These are the people who will go out of their way to try to sabotage things for you, talk bad about you behind your back, and discredit you in any way possible in an attempt to bring you down (socially, personally, professionally). They can even be your relatives at times. Avoid these people at all costs if you want to experience lasting peace and progress in your life.

Who would you put in this category (adversaries)?

Your Friends

Your friends are the people who are down for you, there for you, and supportive of you no matter what. If you find yourself in an unexpected situation, they will come out and help you or at the very least get someone else to help you. When you find a funny meme online or have an interesting story to tell, they are the ones who will laugh with you about it. If you are going through something personally, they will check in on you regularly (at least once or twice a week) or come visit you. A friend will not hesitate to respond if you text or call them. They won’t “leave you on read” for days. They will get back to you as soon as possible because they know you and they LOVE you. Friends are hard to find, so when you have one, be one.

Who would you put in this category (true friends)?

Starting Anew

This year I finally made the decision to change the phone number that I’ve had for over 20 years. Only the people I put in the “your” categories will have the new one. Then I’ll have a backup number for a few people who I don’t want to completely cut off communication with, but they fall into the associates or acquaintances categories. It’s a short and tidy list, and it’s a number I just won’t really monitor often. This second group of people are usually folks who only contact me when they need or want something.

I already feel more relaxed having made this decision. I would suggest that you might want to sort out your own categories (reliable family, friends, acquaintances, associates, adversaries), and do what works for you. Remember: self-care.

Love Lynn



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.





Eve’s Story

Eve’s Story

From Let Him Chase You by Lynn Gilliard 15 days have gone by since their first date. 3 days have gone by since he last called or texted her. 7 days have gone by since he last set up a date with her. And it […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.