I’ve been working on a book entitled Sing While You’re Single for the better part of a year. Only my closest confidants have known about it to date. In it, I’m providing encouragement and advice to women who have decided to remain single for the time being due to the current climate in the dating world. This book is for women who haven’t given up on the possibility of having romantic love in their lives, but for now they are taking it slow and working on themselves.
the bits of advice I provide is that when you are a single woman you should
seek to cultivate at least one to two solid friendships with other women.
Having a good friend to call on is like having an ice-cold drink of water on a
sweltering hot day. We all need companionship to some degree.
not always easy to meet a good real friend in the age of social media and with
so many distractions around us. So, here’s some advice for how you can
cultivate good friendships for yourself. It may take some time, but it is worth
Know the Difference Between Friends and Acquaintances
blog, I’ve discussed the difference between friends and acquaintances. To state it
briefly, acquaintances are just people you know and who you really cannot count
on in a time of need. They barely answer text messages let alone call you when
you’re in need of someone to talk to. Friends are the ones who come through for
you when it matters the most. Know the difference, and things will become
clearer. You probably won’t be so upset when people let you down, because you
know who they are to you.
Work on YOU First
the first steps in cultivating good friendships is to take a good long look at
yourself. To have a good friend you have to be
a good friend. So, if you have some latent or obvious issues that could be a
hindrance to you meeting, relating, and getting along with others, get those
issues under control with the help of a therapist, reading books like The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and making a conscious effort to
change those behaviors or thoughts.
example, if you are a complainer, who always focuses on the negative side of
things, understand that this is something that other people just don’t like to
be around! No one likes a complainer, or someone who is always throwing a pity
party for themselves. It’s time to start thinking, talking, and acting
differently. Be confident. Be positive and look at the beautiful things around
you. As Einstein suggested, insanity is doing the same thing over and over
again while expecting a different result.
The Best Places to Meet Friends
meet people says a lot about their personalities, ambitions, thoughts, and
goals in life. In my opinion one of the best places to meet new friends is at
work. People at your job are on a similar playing field as you and tend to have
similar interests and goals in life.
a few other good places to meet potentially good, long-term friends who care
about you and themselves:
- Volunteer activities
- Group therapy (with women who are struggling with the same issues you are)
- Small business networking affairs.
- Talking to your neighbors (of all ages) who are single women, who you’ve lived around for a long time.
- Attending organizing events with similarly minded women who care about their communities and neighborhoods.
meetup groups can be fun to attend, but in my experience the people who go have
fleeting, flaky personalities. Generally, I think, meeting people online will
likely be a short-term experience. Look to meet new people to connect with in
person when you can—look in their eyes, feel their energy, and make smart
possible to cultivate good friendships with other women, but you have to be
willing to work on yourself and possibly adjust the way that you relate to
remember that if what you’ve been doing in the past hasn’t worked, it may be
time to do something different.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide for women entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.
Image by TréVoy Kelly from Pixabay
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU
. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single
offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.