You Deserve Love AND Respect

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Staying Focused These Days

Staying Focused These Days

Thoughts from My Friend Lauren At a time when we are dealing with a lot of chaos and confusion in the world, it may help to hear about how others are managing things. I have been dealing with a barrage of concerns, all at the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

Cultivating Good Friendships with Other Women

I’ve been working on a book entitled Sing While You’re Single for the better part of a year. Only my closest confidants have known about it to date. In it, I’m providing encouragement and advice to women who have decided to remain single for the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

5 Simple Things That Can Make Your Life Easier

Wouldn’t it be nice if life could just be easier? Even just a little bit easier? You wake up, shower, wash your face, commence to doing your thing whatever that may be, and things seem to work out in the best way possible throughout the day.

Well I think that life could be easier, but we stand in the way of that in so many ways. We’ve been taught that things are supposed to be hard and a constant struggle. But that’s just not true. Things can be more easygoing if we believe it to be so.

Consider these five simple things that can make your life feel easier and more enjoyable.

1. Don’t Go Looking for Problems

Some people create their own problems by actively going out into the world looking for them.

Have you ever known someone who seems to carry drama around with them like an anchor? No matter where they go there seems to be a conflict that arises or an argument.

Are you that person? If so, it is okay to admit it, because this is about growth, and coming to terms with an issue is the only way that you can begin to grow and get better.

Some people go out into the world looking for problems. They want to fight with people because that’s what they’re used to doing. Any period of peace makes them feel uneasy.

I believe that denial and tendency toward aggravation is something that people pick up when they are children, watching their parents and the elders around them do the same thing. Then they perpetuate the same thing in their adulthood. Then they unfortunately pass it on to their children and the cycle goes on and on.

Be the strong smart, enlightened, unproblematic person who stops this cycle in your family.

2. Design Your Life Exactly How You Want It To Be

Not how others want it to be.

When I made the wild decision to become a freelance writer a lot of people looked at me like I was crazy.

“Why can’t you just go get a regular job?”  they asked.

“Because this is how I want my life to be,” I thought. And while I did take jobs that I didn’t want or like over the years, I still stayed focused on the things that I wanted to do. Thankful that I did that.

Follow your passions and dreams. Yet I want to say this with one caveat: you can’t have this attitude if you are going to spend years or even months begging people to help you to pay your bills to get through life.

To be a struggling artist or entrepreneur means that you are going to go through a period when you might have to struggle a bit, yet others shouldn’t have to suffer because of your conscious decisions to do so. I continued to work menial jobs while doing my thing on the side, while keeping a vision of how I wanted my life (at least professionally) to look until it began to manifest. Have a plan to support yourself as you discover and maximize from your talents.

3. Resist People Who Try to Force You Into Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do

Peer pressure is a b****. I say this all the time when I watch television shows or movies and see how young people find themselves in unfortunate situations simply because they follow behind what their friends and peers tell them to do. Don’t be a lemming (blind follower). Follow your own voice and your own calling in life and the earlier you learn how to do this, the better.

Another way that people try to force you into doing things that you don’t want to do is by pressuring you to pair up with someone who you aren’t really compatible with. I believe that one of the worst things you can do is commit your life to someone who you really should not be with. Pairing with the wrong person can rob you of your motivations, dreams, and positive energy in so many ways.

4. Eat Well and Exercise Daily 

When in the grips of grief and depression, one of the things that helped me the most was getting outside and being active.my thing is walking, preferably in nature. I’m not a big fan of the gym or weight lifting, or running, but I really like to be outside—no matter the weather.

Exercising regularly also inspired me to want to eat better foods and I even tried going vegan for a while. One of the things that will make your life a lot easier is when you find a routine and diet that helps you stay sane and makes you feel healthy / happy / good.

5. Spend Time with Yourself in Solitude and Learn to Like Her

A lot of people don’t really like themselves, but they would never admit it outright. The reason why so many people are terrified of being alone is because they just don’t like being alone with themselves.

I spent too much time feeling down about the fact that the people in my life did not come to my rescue when I really needed them to. But after a while (and it took some time) I stopped needing them to do so! I learned how to enjoy time to myself, love myself, and it has come to the point where I actually prefer being just with myself. I plan trips by myself, go to the movies by myself, eat at restaurants alone, and love it. I don’t have to wait on anyone else to have a good time.

Can life feel and be easier? I think that life could be a lot easier if only we make a few changes and adjustments to how we look at and manage things. Meditate on these simple ways to make your life easier and see if they have a positive effect on your daily routine.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide for women entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth. 



Image by Denise Husted



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
7 Keys to Getting Along with People

7 Keys to Getting Along with People

Do you find yourself butting heads with people often? It’s possible to have better relationships with the people around you. A little bit of emotional intelligence can go a long way. Keep reading. For a long time after losing a very close friend who was […]

Who Is Your Friend and Who Is Just an Acquaintance?

What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance or associate? It’s a question that has come up on my social media timeline several times, so I felt it may be of value to write a bit more about this subject. Understanding the answer […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Eve’s Story

Eve’s Story

From Let Him Chase You by Lynn Gilliard

15 days have gone by since their first date. 3 days have gone by since he last called or texted her. 7 days have gone by since he last set up a date with her.

And it just so happens that 7 days have gone by since they were intimate for the first time.

Finally, on the 8th day of sitting by quietly waiting for a date invitation, Eve decides to break down and call him.

“I just don’t think I’m ready for anything serious right now. I’m not ready to date (insert other excuse),” Thomas says when she asks him what’s going on. “We can still hang out sometimes though.”

Eve and Thomas have sex a couple more times — that’s what he really meant by “hanging out” after all. Then he completely “ghosts” her. No replies, no contact.

5 weeks later Eve finds out through Facebook that Thomas is “in a relationship” with another girl he just met.

Why did Thomas make the other girl his girlfriend after a short period of time but only thought Eve was fit to be his “friend with benefits?”

Read or listen to Let Him Chase You to find out why, and how you can avoid being treated like Eve in the future.

Love Lynn



Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
11 Things Someone Should Have Told You (For Women)

11 Things Someone Should Have Told You (For Women)

They say that hindsight is 20/20, meaning that if you could go back in time and change some of the decisions you’ve made in the past using the information you have today you probably would. But when you’re in the thick of a situation, things […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Celebrities, reality stars, social influencers, and everyday women do young girls a disservice by pretending that their relationships are “perfect.” Tell them the truth about life and relationships so that they can make better choices. Recently a popular reality television personality from a show that […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting with yourself? Is self-sabotage the real reason why you’re not where you want to be in life?

So there I was. Vegetables and fruit spread all over my kitchen table on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon. I was chopping up a huge head of organic Kale, cucumbers, ginger, celery and more ingredients to add to my healthy fresh homemade green juice. It is full of vitamins and antioxidants that give me a major boost during the day.

Then I reached over and grabbed my bottle of vodka to take a shot.

As I grabbed the vodka bottle, I immediately recognized the ridiculousness of the scene. If someone else had been there they would have laughed. On one hand I’m working hard to make a drink that will keep me energetic, and with the other hand I’m drinking something that will make me want to go to sleep soon.

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting with yourself? That something within is inspiring you to do productive things while another is convincing you to do things that will sabotage your progress and motivation?

The Will to Fail vs The Will to Succeed

Dorothea Brande wrote a book in the 1930s called Wake Up and Live. In it she discussed what she called “the will to fail.” She recognized that the reason many people don’t get to where they really want to be is that they ultimately submit to their will to fail. It’s that voice or compulsion within that causes you to make poor choices that sabotage your chances of success and progress.

Dueling Wills - Self-SabotageThe will to fail may also be why we women often choose the wrong types of men for dating and relationships. We know deep down that they are going to hurt us, but still go down that path, hoping for the best. And we often do it over and over and over again. That will to fail tells us that things will work out differently if we keep doing the same thing. But doing the same thing while expecting different results is the definition of INSANITY, as Albert Einstein told us.

If a good guy presents himself to us, and shows us how we ought to be treated, that self-sabotaging side may try to push him away. Because getting with a guy who will respect you, love you, make a good husband, and be a good father to your future kids would be too much like right.

Where Does the Will to Fail (Self-Sabotage) Come From?

Maybe the will to fail comes from a childhood experience that taught you that you aren’t worthy of happiness and success. Or maybe an abusive relationship that tore down your self-esteem. Maybe you had a “friend” who constantly belittled you and made you feel smaller so that she could feel bigger. Maybe the will to fail is something that is just ingrained in all of us from birth. I don’t really know.

At the same time, I do believe that the truest part of you, the one that knows your potential (the will to succeed), is still fighting on your behalf. She whispers the right answers to you in your quiet moments. She helps you get back on track when you’re off the rails. She may be embattled and worn out, but she’s still there and still fighting for you.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool

Have you ever heard the phrase “if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results?” Or “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results?” Well that advice certainly applies to love, relationships […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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