Celebrities, reality stars, social influencers, and everyday women do young girls a disservice by pretending that their relationships are “perfect.” Tell them the truth about life and relationships so that they can make better choices.
Recently a popular reality television personality from a show that I have really enjoyed over the years, came out to admit that her husband has been physically and emotionally abusing her for years.
The way that this couple presented their relationship on television from the start was as if they were meant to be. They were so in love — a match made in heaven. He was a “macho” guy and she was a hot-headed bad ass chick, but they somehow made it work. They got married and had a couple of kids. The perfect life. But in reality (according to her own statements) behind closed doors she was being threatened, spit on, thrown around, and harassed by her husband on a regular basis.
This reality star’s story is hardly the exception to the rule. Countless celebrities and personalities have revealed, after years of faking it on television and social media, that their relationships are a lot less than ideal. And that is putting it lightly. In the meanwhile, they’re essentially lying to the public — including the young girls and women who look up to them — about the realities of their relationships and what they’re enduring just to keep up with the illusion of a “perfect” union for TV.
I get it. Everyone wants their life and relationship to look perfect. It makes you feel superior to others and like you’re doing something right. But as a celebrity, a popular personality in the public eye, a social media influencer, or even just a mentor of sorts to the young girls in your life, you have a major impact on how young girls and women look at relationships. Also, what they feel about themselves.
In this particular celebrity’s case, she has spent 10 years letting her young fans think that her boyfriend/husband was a great guy who treated her like an absolute queen. Now, 10 years later she decides to reveal the truth. For 10 years her young fans have probably tried everything possible to get a guy just like that. I wonder how many of them found themselves in abusive relationships themselves, chasing that dream. Why? Because no one is telling them the truth about how things work in the real world.
For instance: A guy will put on his best behavior early in a relationship, but as soon as you start to see concerning signs (abuse, controlling behavior, intimidation), get out of there. The longer you stick around, trying to keep up appearances for others, the deeper you become entrenched in dysfunction and the harder it will be to leave the situation.
Another example: Things aren’t always what they seem on the surface. Don’t spend your life wishing for what other people have, because you never know what they’re really going through. Ever heard the saying, “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it?”
Tell Them the Truth
It would be great if we (the collective of women) could stop lying to young girls about the realities of relationships so that they can make better, more informed choices about the men they choose to allow into their lives in the future. We need to tell them the truth.
It would also be great if young girls and women started to recognize that the relationships they covet and try to mimic on television and social media are never as perfect as they’re portrayed.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.