You Deserve Love AND Respect

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First Impressions DO Matter

First Impressions DO Matter

Young woman’s OKCupid experiment highlights the different responses women get when they choose to put their sexuality on display over their personality. First impressions do matter. Today I read an article written by a beautiful young woman who decided to do an experiment on OKCupid. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

If you take a close look at modern media, particularly movies and TV shows, you can see where women have gotten the idea that women chasing men is a wise idea. While watching Meet Joe Black (1998) again I noticed that this dynamic was in […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & dating advice — can we take some cues from our feline friends?

I am a pet lover — I’ve had both dogs and cats. But I’m partial to cats because I think they are the most like humans. They’re smart, crafty and have a wide range of emotions. So here’s why I say that as a woman when you’re dating men you should be more “cat-like.”

Cats move at their own pace. They don’t do anything that they don’t want to do.

If you tell a cat to do something or try to train her, she’ll look at you curiously as if you’ve lost your mind. If she does decide to do what you’ve asked, it will be at her own leisure — when and if she wants to.

Puppies are loyal no matter what. Cats are loyal too, but not to the extent of a dog. If you mistreat a cat she will remember it and you will probably regret it!

Also, cats are usually very independent — they groom themselves meticulously and take care of their own “business.” A cat is fine being away from her owner for a long period of time — as long as she has food and water she’ll entertain herself or play with her cat friend. She’s not in need of that much attention to be okay. She’s not afraid of making you upset with her — you will just have to deal. If someone or something threatens a cat, she will attack back ferociously with her claws and teeth.

A cat can be “tamed” but only if you’re willing to spend a lot of time and TLC with her. She has to know that she can trust you before extending you that level of respect.

Cats seem to know that they are regal. They carry themselves with an air of confidence that says “yea, I know I’m the ishhh.” They strut around, relaxed and unbothered. They like to be in high places so that they can have a command over the room and see everything that’s going on.

In exchange, cats are loved and adored by their owners. Many owners even say that the cat owns them.

So I think there’s a lesson to be learned from cats — be relaxed, confident and unafraid to “bite back” if necessary. Live on your own terms. Don’t rely on anyone else to keep you content. You deserve love and the very best treatment from whoever you choose to allow in your life.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating Advice: Beware of “The Shift”

Dating Advice: Beware of “The Shift”

After much coaxing from others, I have started watching Dexter. It’s a TV series about a guy who serial kills bad guys. In it, his sister falls for a guy who turns out to be a very twisted killer. At first, he is very into […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

So you believed you had such a great connection with the guy you were seeing that on the first or second date you decided to sleep with him. You just KNEW that he was going to want to stay in touch and keep building with […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage for a “normal” life. More recently, the trend seems to be: remain single and date several people over time. If you are interested in having a serious relationship at some point in the future, here are a few details to keep in mind.

Beware of Serial Daters

Many Americans have chosen to live the lifestyle of a serial dater — someone who constantly goes on dates with many different people. A serial dater is looking to fill a void because he does not want to be alone yet he does not desire a serious relationship at the time. This is not a person that you want to spend a lot of time on if you want a serious relationship.

Here’s a quick test that will tell you if you are on a date with a serial dater: ask the length of his last three relationships. If the response is just weeks or months then you are most likely on a date with someone who dates frequently to stay busy, but not necessarily because he’s looking for someone to settle down with.

And you also have to consider whether you may be the serial dater. Maybe you’re just speculating on a serious relationship, but not actually ready for one at the moment.

Long Luxurious Conversations

In a modern atmosphere where a “hi” and “bye” text passes for daily communication, the art of conversation has become somewhat passé. But the truth of the matter is that people fall in love in conversation.

If you find yourself having long, luxurious, meaningful, two-sided conversations with your guy that flow effortlessly for hours, then that’s an indication that you might just have something real going on. When two people talk about their dreams, loves, likes, family, future and other things of importance, this forms a bond that’s hard to break.

More Signs That It’s Real

There are a number of other signs that a new relationship is going somewhere. One clue is when your mate puts you in future tense language. For example, he talks about where you’ll live together in five years or includes you as a factor in his career decisions. Another way that you’ll know when a relationship is real is when he wants you to meet his family and when you do meet them they already know plenty about you.

Spontaneous romance is also a sign that a guy cares a lot for you — when he plans things in advance like special dates and romantic nights together, it shows that he thinks of you often and really wants to make you happy.

Before you enter into a meaningful relationship with anyone, it is so important to first know yourself and be clear about that. It’s very easy to lose yourself — the essence of who you are — in a relationship. If you can stay true to your beliefs and values, it shows a strength that will transcend the relationship. It also shows that he respects and loves you for who you are as a person.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

Sometimes we women will give men the benefit of the doubt and trust their words way too soon — even before the guy makes good on that word. One thing I have learned (the hard way) is that a person’s word means little to nothing without […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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The Alcohol’s Playing Tricks on You: Drinking on a Date Can Fool You Into Believing There’s a Bond There

The Alcohol’s Playing Tricks on You: Drinking on a Date Can Fool You Into Believing There’s a Bond There

You’re out on your second, maybe third date with a guy that you really like. You’ve had a few drinks — maybe more. You’re having a wonderful time and the endorphins are flowing. You suddenly get the feeling that this guy might actually be the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Let Him Chase YOU: Sometimes It’s Not Meant to Be… But We Women Force It Anyway!

Let Him Chase YOU: Sometimes It’s Not Meant to Be… But We Women Force It Anyway!

In her amazing book The Power, Rhonda Byrne tells the story of a woman who envisioned having a white Calla Lily in her hand. When she went to a friend’s dinner party there on the table was a vase full of white Calla Lilies. But this woman didn’t rush to grab the flower — she patiently waited for it to manifest in her hand. As she was leaving, something compelled the host’s daughter to grab a Lily and put it right in the woman’s hand. She was patient and received exactly what she wanted.

Too Overeager?
Have you ever been in a social setting where a guy who caught your eye seemed reluctant to approach you, even though you really wanted him to? Maybe he just didn’t notice you at all and you really wanted him to.

So you probably did one of two things:

1) Left feeling bad about not connecting with him, thinking that you missed out on something special, or
2) Decided to go after HIM instead.

I am a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I am also a firm believer in the premise of my book Let Him Chase You. If you’re meant to connect with a particular guy, some way and some how he is going to get in touch with you.

Now some women will tell you that this advice is silly — that if you see a guy you like you should go after him. Snag him, tag him and drag him home!

But I know from personal experience that this is a recipe or disaster if you are seeking a fulfilling long-term relationship with a guy.

I remember back when I was in college I walked out of a club and saw a really good looking guy standing there. He looked me up and down like he was interested but didn’t say anything and looked away. I then asked him if he was going to ask me for my phone number, and he did.

This quickly turned into a long term friends with benefits relationship. Long story short, I was playing that role of the chaser from then on. When we got into an argument, I was the one who had to call and apologize. When he moved back to his home city, I was the one who flew out to visit him. Finally, I got tired of all of the nonsense and left him alone completely.

When you force the issue with a guy, it creates an uncomfortable dynamic for us women.

Let Him Chase You
So like the woman in Rhonda Byrne’s book, don’t desperately grab for a man’s attention — let the guy come and place the Lily in your hand. Even if he doesn’t, don’t feel bad about it… be thankful because you may have avoided a stressful, draining and time-consuming experience with a guy who wasn’t right for you after all.

Let Him Chase You!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Relax, Relate, Release Your Way to Better Dating & Relationships

Relax, Relate, Release Your Way to Better Dating & Relationships

There was a classic scene in one of my favorite television shows from the 90s called It’s a Different World. In it, the main character Whitley Gilbert (played by actress Jasmine Guy) was in a counseling session with a therapist played by actress Debbie Allen. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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