You Deserve Love AND Respect

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But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

So you believed you had such a great connection with the guy you were seeing that on the first or second date you decided to sleep with him. You just KNEW that he was going to want to stay in touch and keep building with […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

Sometimes we women will give men the benefit of the doubt and trust their words way too soon — even before the guy makes good on that word.

One thing I have learned (the hard way) is that a person’s word means little to nothing without action behind it. You can’t count on words.

A Man’s Word Vs. His Actions

It’s all about action. What does he do? You have to watch his actions.

How many women have children by men who *said* that they want to be a good father or husband, but then the guy leaves as soon as the child is born? So many we can’t even count anymore.

If a man was serious about being a good provider, he would go out of his way to promote himself to a position where he can take care of his family. If he’s still sitting on your couch watching television or playing video games, that’s the truth about his intentions for you.

How many men *tell* women how special they are, only to quickly lose interest right after they have sex?

If he really thinks you’re special, he’ll do anything to be in your presence. He’ll go out of his way to impress you and capture your attention.

How many women lose themselves “in love” with a man who claims to love them back, only to find out that he’s cheating with not one but many other women. That’s not love. That’s selfishness.

Trust Actions

As Janet Jackson said in her classic song — what have you DONE for me lately?

The words he says mean nothing until there’s real action to back them up.

A man who is really interested in you will SHOW you that he wants to be in your life, not just woo you with words.

Think about this the next time you’re debating whether or not you should give up a part of yourself, your serenity, your peace, or your heart to someone you’ve just met. Are his actions backing up his words?

 

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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The Alcohol’s Playing Tricks on You: Drinking on a Date Can Fool You Into Believing There’s a Bond There

The Alcohol’s Playing Tricks on You: Drinking on a Date Can Fool You Into Believing There’s a Bond There

You’re out on your second, maybe third date with a guy that you really like. You’ve had a few drinks — maybe more. You’re having a wonderful time and the endorphins are flowing. You suddenly get the feeling that this guy might actually be the […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Let Him Chase YOU: Sometimes It’s Not Meant to Be… But We Women Force It Anyway!

Let Him Chase YOU: Sometimes It’s Not Meant to Be… But We Women Force It Anyway!

In her amazing book The Power, Rhonda Byrne tells the story of a woman who envisioned having a white Calla Lily in her hand. When she went to a friend’s dinner party there on the table was a vase full of white Calla Lilies. But […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Relax, Relate, Release Your Way to Better Dating & Relationships

Relax, Relate, Release Your Way to Better Dating & Relationships

There was a classic scene in one of my favorite television shows from the 90s called It’s a Different World. In it, the main character Whitley Gilbert (played by actress Jasmine Guy) was in a counseling session with a therapist played by actress Debbie Allen. Whitley was wound up over something and struggling for control. The therapist told her to repeat the following line over and over:

Relax, Relate, Release!

I used to be so particular and structured about how my relationship or dating experience would go. If the guy did one thing I didn’t like, I would just end contact immediately. For instance, if a guy didn’t respond to my texts right away I’d write him off immediately. Never mind that he might be tied up at work or otherwise distracted.

In my book Survive, Live or Thrive? I tell the story of a guy who jokingly mentioned that I had a “little mustache” on a date so I never called him again.

I was so sensitive to any minor slight! It was all about control (or fear of not having any).

I think that a lot of my control issues relating to men stemmed from bad experiences with guys in the past or fear of looking like a fool — I guess to the people around me; especially my friends and family.

Now I am so much more relaxed about dating. I don’t see the point in worrying or stressing about men and relationships, so it all just comes so easily and naturally to me. I no longer have a problem getting dates from quality men and having fun experiences with them. I only attract great men into my life.

I can relate to men better because I seek to understand them, just as I would expect from them, instead of judging them.

And I now fully subscribe to the idea that if it’s meant to be, IT WILL BE. There’s no need to force anything. I am willing to release a situation without getting upset or feeling slighted and I don’t drag my issues from one dating experience into another.

What Are You Holding Onto?
When we hold on tightly to resentments and past experiences, it holds us back from attracting the right people into our lives.

I finally learned that I had to relinquish the need to control every little thing and let things happen as they will. I learned that everything doesn’t always go according to a perfect rule book — sometimes you have to just relax and follow your intuition. This goes for romantic unions as well as relationships with friends and family members.

So stop stressing, stop fighting and stop holding onto stuff from the past.

Relax, relate, release instead. Relationships don’t have to be hard — it could all be so simple.

 

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:     – pursuing your dreams – making good money – […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Men Do Want to Know That You’re Interested

Men Do Want to Know That You’re Interested

A lot of women (myself included) believe that when you first meet a guy, playing hard to get is the right way to go. That may be true to a certain extent, but not to the point of indifference (not answering messages, acting as if […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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When True Love Calls, Answering Isn’t Really an Option

When True Love Calls, Answering Isn’t Really an Option

I am a strong believer in soul mates — mostly because I believe I have met one of mine. My definition of a soul mate is someone who you can experience the ultimate feeling of love with in life. A true partner.

There are people that you meet who you just instantly click with and develop a bond very quickly. Nothing can stop you from being together. This is why I say that when true (mutual) love calls, you can’t really stop it from happening. It’s going to happen, eventually.

So knowing this, there is no need to worry and fret about the various guys that may come into your life. If they are meant to be there, they will be. There will be a knowing that you can’t really explain with words. They’re going to end up in your life, in some capacity, no matter what.

People who force relationships to happen with people who they don’t have a real connection with usually end up very unhappy.  Sooner or later it ends and they can’t understand what happened.

True love is easy going. It’s relaxed. It doesn’t hurt. It feels so good. There’s that KNOWING — you just know that everything is going to be fine with this person. It might happen with someone you would never picture yourself with, but you meet, you connect and you become inseparable.

So don’t feel bad when you meet a guy and it doesn’t work out. Brush him aside and keep experiencing life. Keep your focus on the type of guy you want in your life who is just for you — not just based on looks or superficial stuff, but that undeniable connection. You never know when you might attract someone who’s just right for you.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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You Want Unlimited Love & Attention from a Man… But Do You Give That to Yourself?

You Want Unlimited Love & Attention from a Man… But Do You Give That to Yourself?

As women we have visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads when it comes to what we want from a man. What do we want from a relationship? Everything! He has to be kind. He has to look good. He has to make you happy. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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