You Deserve Love AND Respect

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Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Knowing Your Worth As a Woman

Right before writing this blog post, I was watching a TV show where a woman admitted that her husband wakes up, first thing in the morning, and says to her, “*EXPLETIVE that begins with a B*, where are my cigarettes?” Instead of putting him in […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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The Problem with “How to Keep a Man Happy” Advice

The Problem with “How to Keep a Man Happy” Advice

Some relationship advice columns (often offered by men if you’ll notice) tell women how they can make men happy or be more attractive to men to keep them around. But there are a few problems with this idea that women have to be aware of. […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Beware the “Rake” Personality – He Drives Women Crazy (The Art of Seduction)

Beware the “Rake” Personality – He Drives Women Crazy (The Art of Seduction)

I like the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene because it warns both women and men about people who may be trying to take advantage of them. Greene is also the author of The 48 Laws of Power, which I believe is another must-read for young, ambitious women.

41rBEKo3TvL._SL500_AA300_PIaudible,BottomRight,13,73_AA300_In The Art of Seduction, Greene talks about the various types of “seductive” personalities that you’ll find throughout history. These personalities also exist today, of course. One of those types is the “rake” personality — a man who is an expert at seducing *numerous* women and getting them snared into his trap. I have met this type of guy in the past and can attest to his charm and appeal. The problem is, this guy can never be tamed or nailed down by any one woman.

So here are some characteristics of a male rake. If you want something real and lasting from a relationship, recognize and avoid this type of guy in the future. You may choose to have a fun experience with him, but don’t count on it ever being more than that.

He Loves the Idea of Women

Make no mistake — a male rake absolutely loves women, or rather the IDEA of women. He most likely had a close yet conflicted relationship with his mother as a boy and the other adult women in his life. He most likely learned early on how to grab the attention and hearts of women from his female family members and friends. Young or old, pretty much all women can be caught up in his net if he chooses them as a target and they are unaware of his seduction.

He’s Extremely Charming

A lot of men don’t really understand women and what makes us tick, but the male rake sure does. He knows exactly what to say and when to say it to get your attention. Even if he isn’t the most attractive guy you’ve ever seen, you may find yourself strangely attracted to this person from his personality and charm alone. He doesn’t approach you by saying, “yo yo yo what’s up.” He says “You have such beautiful eyes” or “Why do you look so sad? Are you okay?”

He Has a “Devil May Care” Attitude Toward Life

Rakes are fun. They are exciting and have a “devil may care” attitude when it comes to life. They aren’t really afraid of anything, including death or punishment, which makes them extremely appealing to many women. If someone tells them they’re going to hell, they’ll ask where do they get the ticket. They often drink a lot and abuse substances. They’ll do 100 mph down a highway on New Year’s Eve. The point is that they don’t really care about consequences, and while that is often attractive to women, it is also concerning if you do care about your life and well-being.

He Never Apologizes

One other attribute of a rake is that he never really (genuinely) apologizes for anything. This is because he doesn’t ever think he’s wrong. He could sleep with your sister, cousin and best friend in the same day and get caught each time in the act, but never feels the need to apologize. If pushed to the limit, he may say “I’m sorry” to get his way, but he doesn’t really mean it.

He’s Extremely Persistent

One way that you’ll know you may be dealing with a male rake is that he is extremely persistent and focused on getting your attention. If you say no or ignore him, he will spend the rest of his day trying to figure out how to make you say yes. This may have to do with some type of insecurity and ego problem, or just a scratch that he needs to itch. Most women don’t require much convincing, but the ones who do are a challenge that the rake simply has to conquer. Don’t leave him alone around your things if you’re not interested or you may have a stalker on your hands.

If you want to get a good idea of what a male rake personality is, watch the HBO series Californication. Hank’s character is the ideal personification of this seductive personality. And again, if you want a long-lasting, loving relationship with a man, please understand that you’re not going to find it with a rake.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

“First comes love… Then comes marriage… Then comes Mary with a baby carriage.” Do you remember that little childhood song? We would sing it to tease someone who had a crush on a boy. We’d also sing it when playing patty cake to keep up […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

Examples of Women Chasing Men in Movies and TV

If you take a close look at modern media, particularly movies and TV shows, you can see where women have gotten the idea that women chasing men is a wise idea. While watching Meet Joe Black (1998) again I noticed that this dynamic was in […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & dating advice — can we take some cues from our feline friends?

I am a pet lover — I’ve had both dogs and cats. But I’m partial to cats because I think they are the most like humans. They’re smart, crafty and have a wide range of emotions. So here’s why I say that as a woman when you’re dating men you should be more “cat-like.”

Cats move at their own pace. They don’t do anything that they don’t want to do.

If you tell a cat to do something or try to train her, she’ll look at you curiously as if you’ve lost your mind. If she does decide to do what you’ve asked, it will be at her own leisure — when and if she wants to.

Puppies are loyal no matter what. Cats are loyal too, but not to the extent of a dog. If you mistreat a cat she will remember it and you will probably regret it!

Also, cats are usually very independent — they groom themselves meticulously and take care of their own “business.” A cat is fine being away from her owner for a long period of time — as long as she has food and water she’ll entertain herself or play with her cat friend. She’s not in need of that much attention to be okay. She’s not afraid of making you upset with her — you will just have to deal. If someone or something threatens a cat, she will attack back ferociously with her claws and teeth.

A cat can be “tamed” but only if you’re willing to spend a lot of time and TLC with her. She has to know that she can trust you before extending you that level of respect.

Cats seem to know that they are regal. They carry themselves with an air of confidence that says “yea, I know I’m the ishhh.” They strut around, relaxed and unbothered. They like to be in high places so that they can have a command over the room and see everything that’s going on.

In exchange, cats are loved and adored by their owners. Many owners even say that the cat owns them.

So I think there’s a lesson to be learned from cats — be relaxed, confident and unafraid to “bite back” if necessary. Live on your own terms. Don’t rely on anyone else to keep you content. You deserve love and the very best treatment from whoever you choose to allow in your life.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating Advice: Beware of “The Shift”

Dating Advice: Beware of “The Shift”

After much coaxing from others, I have started watching Dexter. It’s a TV series about a guy who serial kills bad guys. In it, his sister falls for a guy who turns out to be a very twisted killer. At first, he is very into […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

But I’m a Great Woman! Why Doesn’t He See That?

So you believed you had such a great connection with the guy you were seeing that on the first or second date you decided to sleep with him. You just KNEW that he was going to want to stay in touch and keep building with […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage for a “normal” life. More recently, the trend seems to be: remain single and date several people over time. If you are interested in having a serious relationship at some point in the future, here are a few details to keep in mind.

Beware of Serial Daters

Many Americans have chosen to live the lifestyle of a serial dater — someone who constantly goes on dates with many different people. A serial dater is looking to fill a void because he does not want to be alone yet he does not desire a serious relationship at the time. This is not a person that you want to spend a lot of time on if you want a serious relationship.

Here’s a quick test that will tell you if you are on a date with a serial dater: ask the length of his last three relationships. If the response is just weeks or months then you are most likely on a date with someone who dates frequently to stay busy, but not necessarily because he’s looking for someone to settle down with.

And you also have to consider whether you may be the serial dater. Maybe you’re just speculating on a serious relationship, but not actually ready for one at the moment.

Long Luxurious Conversations

In a modern atmosphere where a “hi” and “bye” text passes for daily communication, the art of conversation has become somewhat passé. But the truth of the matter is that people fall in love in conversation.

If you find yourself having long, luxurious, meaningful, two-sided conversations with your guy that flow effortlessly for hours, then that’s an indication that you might just have something real going on. When two people talk about their dreams, loves, likes, family, future and other things of importance, this forms a bond that’s hard to break.

More Signs That It’s Real

There are a number of other signs that a new relationship is going somewhere. One clue is when your mate puts you in future tense language. For example, he talks about where you’ll live together in five years or includes you as a factor in his career decisions. Another way that you’ll know when a relationship is real is when he wants you to meet his family and when you do meet them they already know plenty about you.

Spontaneous romance is also a sign that a guy cares a lot for you — when he plans things in advance like special dates and romantic nights together, it shows that he thinks of you often and really wants to make you happy.

Before you enter into a meaningful relationship with anyone, it is so important to first know yourself and be clear about that. It’s very easy to lose yourself — the essence of who you are — in a relationship. If you can stay true to your beliefs and values, it shows a strength that will transcend the relationship. It also shows that he respects and loves you for who you are as a person.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something

Sometimes we women will give men the benefit of the doubt and trust their words way too soon — even before the guy makes good on that word. One thing I have learned (the hard way) is that a person’s word means little to nothing without […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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