You Deserve Love AND Respect

Tag: women and dating

Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Can We Stop Lying to Young Girls and Women?

Celebrities, reality stars, social influencers, and everyday women do young girls a disservice by pretending that their relationships are “perfect.” Tell them the truth about life and relationships so that they can make better choices. Recently a popular reality television personality from a show that […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

First Comes LIKE: Dating Advice

“First comes love… Then comes marriage… Then comes Mary with a baby carriage.” Do you remember that little childhood song? We would sing it to tease someone who had a crush on a boy. We’d also sing it when playing patty cake to keep up […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & Dating Advice: A Lesson from Our Cat Friends

Women & dating advice — can we take some cues from our feline friends?

I am a pet lover — I’ve had both dogs and cats. But I’m partial to cats because I think they are the most like humans. They’re smart, crafty and have a wide range of emotions. So here’s why I say that as a woman when you’re dating men you should be more “cat-like.”

Cats move at their own pace. They don’t do anything that they don’t want to do.

If you tell a cat to do something or try to train her, she’ll look at you curiously as if you’ve lost your mind. If she does decide to do what you’ve asked, it will be at her own leisure — when and if she wants to.

Puppies are loyal no matter what. Cats are loyal too, but not to the extent of a dog. If you mistreat a cat she will remember it and you will probably regret it!

Also, cats are usually very independent — they groom themselves meticulously and take care of their own “business.” A cat is fine being away from her owner for a long period of time — as long as she has food and water she’ll entertain herself or play with her cat friend. She’s not in need of that much attention to be okay. She’s not afraid of making you upset with her — you will just have to deal. If someone or something threatens a cat, she will attack back ferociously with her claws and teeth.

A cat can be “tamed” but only if you’re willing to spend a lot of time and TLC with her. She has to know that she can trust you before extending you that level of respect.

Cats seem to know that they are regal. They carry themselves with an air of confidence that says “yea, I know I’m the ishhh.” They strut around, relaxed and unbothered. They like to be in high places so that they can have a command over the room and see everything that’s going on.

In exchange, cats are loved and adored by their owners. Many owners even say that the cat owns them.

So I think there’s a lesson to be learned from cats — be relaxed, confident and unafraid to “bite back” if necessary. Live on your own terms. Don’t rely on anyone else to keep you content. You deserve love and the very best treatment from whoever you choose to allow in your life.

Love Lynn

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:     – pursuing your dreams – making good money – […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Men Do Want to Know That You’re Interested

Men Do Want to Know That You’re Interested

A lot of women (myself included) believe that when you first meet a guy, playing hard to get is the right way to go.

That may be true to a certain extent, but not to the point of indifference (not answering messages, acting as if he’s not important and you don’t care either way), and I’ll tell you exactly why.

When you first start dating a guy he doesn’t really know anything about you (and vice versa) at that point. He may be physically attracted to you and you have good conversation, but there’s nothing that deep going on yet. He doesn’t know enough about you yet to know that you’re an awesome catch.

So if you feign indifference when you’re actually interested in a guy that you’re still getting to know, there’s a good chance that he’ll eventually just give up and move on. If you are interested, you have to let him know by responding to his advances to keep the connection building. (There are exceptions to this rule of course — an ultra ego driven Alpha male might see the lack of interest as a challenge to conquer.)

When I say let a man chase you, I’m not telling you to sit up on a throne like Queen Sheba turning your nose up to all men as if they are peasants.

Communicate. Text back (maybe not immediately, but eventually). Offer a compliment once in a while. Agree to a few dates (and maybe decline a few if it’s not convenient for you). The point is that you don’t want to be the initiator or aggressor in the initial courting process. If you start off chasing him you’ll be chasing him forever! Let him handle the planning and details of your dating experience until you become a couple. If he can’t at least do that, he’s probably not the guy you really want to spend months or years of your life with.

Things change when you’ve developed a bond with a guy, which is officially called a “relationship.” Once he really likes you, if you start to pull away that might just drive him a little nuts and make him want to pursue you even more.

So the moral of the story here is: men find confidence (maybe even a little bit of arrogance) in a woman sexy but they also need to know that you have a genuine interest in them in order to keep pursuing you when you’ve just met.

So if you’re interested in a guy Let Him Chase You, but make sure he knows that there is a little bit of an interest there. The only time you should be indifferent to a new guy you’ve met is if you’re really just not that into him!

Love Lynn

 

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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When True Love Calls, Answering Isn’t Really an Option

When True Love Calls, Answering Isn’t Really an Option

I am a strong believer in soul mates — mostly because I believe I have met one of mine. My definition of a soul mate is someone who you can experience the ultimate feeling of love with in life. A true partner. There are people […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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The Guy Seems Interested But Doesn’t Ask for Your Number… What’s Up with That?

The Guy Seems Interested But Doesn’t Ask for Your Number… What’s Up with That?

For a time, ever since my life transformation I’ve experienced a weird phenomenon with certain men. The guy approaches me. He’s extremely interested, has a nice conversation with me, but then leaves without asking me for my information to connect again. At first I think, […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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A Man Should Not (and Cannot Truly) Complete You

A Man Should Not (and Cannot Truly) Complete You

As young girls and young women we’re taught by our parents and the media that having a man is a part of being a complete woman.

It happens both subconsciously and blatantly:

– “one day you’ll grow up, get married and have a big wedding” (as a young girl you start to believe that the main goal of LIFE is that wedding)

– “when are you going to have kids?” (an act which requires a man)

– movies, TV shows, magazine articles tailored for women that only focus on how to compete, “win” and keep a man

So it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you need a man to complete you.

But the truth is that a man should not complete who you are — he should be a special companion to an already complete and whole you.

One of the top reasons why so many women get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships with men is that they are searching for that someone or something to complete them. What happens instead is that either the man breaks down her self esteem even more OR leaves her and she’s back to feeling “incomplete” without the guy.

When you’re a whole and complete person all by yourself you might want a man, but you won’t need one in order to be okay.

Being in a happy relationship but not NEEDING the relationship in order to BE happy and complete is a very powerful place to be in as a woman.

Do you think you can get there?

I think so.

Love Lynn

 

 

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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Let Him Chase Me? But, Isn’t Persistence Key? Women Ask

Let Him Chase Me? But, Isn’t Persistence Key? Women Ask

In my books and blogs I advise women to let men chase you, but some women don’t quite get it. They’ve been taught that they have to go after the man that they want HARD and do whatever it takes to get him. They believe […]

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.                                                                
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