A lot of women (myself included) believe that when you first meet a guy, playing hard to get is the right way to go.
That may be true to a certain extent, but not to the point of indifference (not answering messages, acting as if he’s not important and you don’t care either way), and I’ll tell you exactly why.
When you first start dating a guy he doesn’t really know anything about you (and vice versa) at that point. He may be physically attracted to you and you have good conversation, but there’s nothing that deep going on yet. He doesn’t know enough about you yet to know that you’re an awesome catch.
So if you feign indifference when you’re actually interested in a guy that you’re still getting to know, there’s a good chance that he’ll eventually just give up and move on. If you are interested, you have to let him know by responding to his advances to keep the connection building. (There are exceptions to this rule of course — an ultra ego driven Alpha male might see the lack of interest as a challenge to conquer.)
When I say let a man chase you, I’m not telling you to sit up on a throne like Queen Sheba turning your nose up to all men as if they are peasants.
Communicate. Text back (maybe not immediately, but eventually). Offer a compliment once in a while. Agree to a few dates (and maybe decline a few if it’s not convenient for you). The point is that you don’t want to be the initiator or aggressor in the initial courting process. If you start off chasing him you’ll be chasing him forever! Let him handle the planning and details of your dating experience until you become a couple. If he can’t at least do that, he’s probably not the guy you really want to spend months or years of your life with.
Things change when you’ve developed a bond with a guy, which is officially called a “relationship.” Once he really likes you, if you start to pull away that might just drive him a little nuts and make him want to pursue you even more.
So the moral of the story here is: men find confidence (maybe even a little bit of arrogance) in a woman sexy but they also need to know that you have a genuine interest in them in order to keep pursuing you when you’ve just met.
So if you’re interested in a guy Let Him Chase You, but make sure he knows that there is a little bit of an interest there. The only time you should be indifferent to a new guy you’ve met is if you’re really just not that into him!
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.