According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage for a “normal” life. More recently, the trend seems to be: remain single and date several people over time. If you are interested in having a serious relationship at some point in the future, here are a few details to keep in mind.
Beware of Serial Daters
Many Americans have chosen to live the lifestyle of a serial dater — someone who constantly goes on dates with many different people. A serial dater is looking to fill a void because he does not want to be alone yet he does not desire a serious relationship at the time. This is not a person that you want to spend a lot of time on if you want a serious relationship.
Here’s a quick test that will tell you if you are on a date with a serial dater: ask the length of his last three relationships. If the response is just weeks or months then you are most likely on a date with someone who dates frequently to stay busy, but not necessarily because he’s looking for someone to settle down with.
And you also have to consider whether you may be the serial dater. Maybe you’re just speculating on a serious relationship, but not actually ready for one at the moment.
Long Luxurious Conversations
In a modern atmosphere where a “hi” and “bye” text passes for daily communication, the art of conversation has become somewhat passé. But the truth of the matter is that people fall in love in conversation.
If you find yourself having long, luxurious, meaningful, two-sided conversations with your guy that flow effortlessly for hours, then that’s an indication that you might just have something real going on. When two people talk about their dreams, loves, likes, family, future and other things of importance, this forms a bond that’s hard to break.
More Signs That It’s Real
There are a number of other signs that a new relationship is going somewhere. One clue is when your mate puts you in future tense language. For example, he talks about where you’ll live together in five years or includes you as a factor in his career decisions. Another way that you’ll know when a relationship is real is when he wants you to meet his family and when you do meet them they already know plenty about you.
Spontaneous romance is also a sign that a guy cares a lot for you — when he plans things in advance like special dates and romantic nights together, it shows that he thinks of you often and really wants to make you happy.
Before you enter into a meaningful relationship with anyone, it is so important to first know yourself and be clear about that. It’s very easy to lose yourself — the essence of who you are — in a relationship. If you can stay true to your beliefs and values, it shows a strength that will transcend the relationship. It also shows that he respects and loves you for who you are as a person.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.